Today's Bonertown Hottie of the Day is none other than Muppet slut Miss Piggy. After a lifetime spent chasing after Kermit's cock, Piggy has decided to test the open market and attempt to have sex with men instead of frogs. Miss Piggy tells Bonertown that she loves having sex in her own shit and that she once gave Beaker a blowjob in the back of a van.
Last nights episode of the office was so good I peed out of my mouth. Farts also came out of my ears and when I cried, I had vomit tears. Believe me, you don't want to know what happened when I pooped.
For far too long, babies have been allowed to sit on their lazy asses, sucking on tits without a care in the world. Now it's time for them to earn their keep. It's time for them to fight. The good news is there's already shit in their pants before they fight, so nobody gets embarrassed. I just hope Don King doesn't take all their money before they reach puberty.
I've met a lot of farting talents in my day but Fartin' Gary still reigns supreme. His farts are so dynamic, even the Osmond's couldn't compete. If he were to fart in all 276 languages at a UN press conference, peace would be increased in the Middle East. I just hope he meets a woman who can fart as good as he can. It could reverse global warming overnight.
My first girlfriend in high school was Latina and boy what a ride it was. My fondest memory was her inviting me over after school and me walking into her bedroom only to see her lying naked on her waterbed and both her and the waterbed were completely covered in baby oil. Did I mention she had huge boobs? Did I mention I'm really white? Anyway, my point is Latina girls are really hot, especially when they're covered in baby oil. Seriously, if you know any girls who have baby oil and a waterbed, try this immediately.
Today's Bonertown Hottie Of The Day is American Idol cleavage star Kattharine McPhee. Besides have nice boobs and being able to sing, Katharine is best known for letting Tyra Banks grab her boobs in order to defend their realness. Katharine tells Bonertown that she thinks it's funny that her boobs shake when she farts and that she hopes to one day eat ribs topless on top of the Eiffel Tower.
