The only time I ever crapped my pants was walking home from the bar back in college. It was cold, I was alone and I was on my way to pick up the taco special I had just order. I tried to sprint in small increments, but that just made it worse. I tried stop-n-pinch, but that didn't help either. It was freezing cold and I still had another mile to go. I realized I had lost the battle and just let it go. I think you'll all be proud to hear that I still stopped in the restaurant and picked up my tacos ... with poop in my pants.
