Only three toys have ever changed the course of my life to date. The first was my complete set of Voltron cats because it was so cool that it made every girl in the neighborhood want to make out with me. The second was my first VCR because it allowed me to watch those dirty movies that everyone seems to like so much but yet they never discuss them publicly. The third was my first glory hole/waffle maker home play set. All you have to do is put an ad on Craigslist about it and tons of girls want to come over and make you waffles.
