February 20th, 2008
The Disassociated Press

It was 40 years ago today that the "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" television show premiered. Yes, 40 years ago today is the day Mister Rogers started spewing more sexual innuendo than Walt Disney in an elementary school locker room. He'd put on that cardigan sweater, lull you to sleep with that monotone molester voice and take you for a ride on his train to the "Neighborhood Of Make-Believe Sex." I trusted you with my youth, Mister Rogers and look at me now. A sex-crazed deviant who will hump anything that moves. And I blame you for my weekend farting problem too.